Having a child with special needs: One Therapist's Perspective By: Christopher

Having worked with pediatrics for most of my life, working as a speech therapist for 23+ years and raising two of my own children; I have been afforded a unique perspective in understanding the trials and tribulations, the obstacles and rewards, and the questions and answers that are prevalent in raising a child with special needs.  With that stated, a prevailing impression that I have found prevalent in my own reflection of my experiences are the comments and considerations raised by families ring a loud bell of familiarity.  Let me elaborate...

For me, I have recognized beneficial characteristics needed in raising a child regardless of their developmental beginnings.  Albeit, family dynamics do present differently and have varying levels of impact and play an integral role when comparing situations.   If we consider that these characteristics reveal themselves as occurring on a spectrum of developmental influence, we can determine that the emphasis of importance is squarely predicated on the needs of a child. The idea is that their value will ebb and flow as needs evolve.  In my opinion, raising a child [any child] comes down to a few fundamental aspects: Love, Stability, Structure, Predictability, Support (freedom to explore/grow).  With these ideals in mind, we can explore the relative similarities regardless of a child’s “needs”.

• Love: This is simple to say but sometimes rather difficult to conceptualize and can almost feel cliche.  However, it is extremely important in emphasizing the desires we humans have to belong.  The family unit, as well as, care-provider's, bestow a subconscious net that envelops one with trust and comfort unconditionally.  This allows for prosperity in development.
• Stability: In a continuation of Love, stability provides a foundation and a safe place from which a child can grow confidently through experiences. Stability frees a child from environmental stresses that can detour or hamper development.  Finding stability means a child can spend energy learning new skills and not have to worry about survival.
• Structure: With structure we are provided with boundaries and consequences.  Both of which are important in establishing expectations and the “rules” for which we learn- in case of a child, play.  Boundaries help to establish beginnings and endings to experience.  They allow for the compartmentalization of like information or experiences for ease of recall and association.  Whereas, consequences help us to test and bring order to our experiences.
• Predictability: Through predictability we are afforded the opportunity to look beyond the ‘here and now’ while expanding our associated knowledge.  In a given situation, knowing what may happen next, opens the doors to the imagination.  This establishes a new level of processing and allows for the building of associations that link ideas or scripts (i.e., associated ideas that follow an anticipated order) and aids in comprehension.
• Support (freedom to explore/grow):  When considering development, we have to allow for the opportunity to practice.  All skills require some level of practice to acquire and to assimilate into behavior.  Developmental skills are no different, although they often appear covertly during play. 

Interestingly, it is the last described characteristic where therapists are most often inserting their expertise. Yet, it is through each of the characteristics contributing in concert that a child’s progress is realized.  The highest degree of success is typically appreciated through a coordinated partnership on the part of the family and the therapist. If nothing else is understood from this writing, understand that Love, Stability, Structure, Predictability and Support (freedom to explore/grow) are key considerations for positive development for which all children would benefit.